What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why do gun lovers think their right to own a weapon supercedes everyone else's right to be safe and not be shot?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Why do some people refuse to explain their actions or behavior when asked? Why do they claim to not know the reason instead of providing an explanation?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

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Make Nazis afraid again!